Whenever I try to write I am overcome with imperfections. Which normally doesn't bother me but I am so beaten down that I feel like I can't even please myself. I am going to challenge myself to take one photo a day that represents how I feel. I think it might be fun. Writing has always been a passion of mine. And so has photography. I would love to be a event planner/wedding photographer. How much fun would that be?
I also am going to start reading most of the unread books on my bookshelf. I am also going to start journaling anything and everything that I am feeling and going through. I really don't want to hold it in, as I really don't want to become addicted to cutting again. I am just going to change my attitude and outlook on life.
I am stressed because the family I live with might be losing their house, they just lost their job (as three of them worked at the same job and the other family member is retired). So, I am kinda stressed out about what the future holds. I know that I should let it go and just surrender it to God. But it is so hard. I want to it just is going to take me some time. Surrendering little by little. I don't know if we will lose the house and if we do where I will live. I am trying to be strong for the family I live with but I seem to just add to the stress and fail at being a good friend or housemate. Its hard. Trying to see the beauty in life. Please understand.