Saturday, February 2, 2013

Redeeming Love Book Review And Honesty

So I just finished reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers....which is funny because I actually sold my copy of this book on instagram before I finished it. Thankfully the library had it.

I highly HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book! 
It is basically a retelling of the book of Hosea. More importantly it is our story! Yes, I said it your story and my story. A true love story! 

If you have never read Hosea it is a book in the Bible about a man (Hosea) who is called by God to love and marry a prostitute. Okay, Okay! Before you get excited because I just said it is your story and my story and just told you that its a story about a prostitute falling in love...Hear me out! 

See. When we were born (because we were born after the fall of man which means sin was in the world) we were dirty, sinful people. Believe me in my life I have done some of the dirtiest, ungodly, vile things. Mainly, I looked for love in all the wrong places. Let me explain if I may:

I grew up in a Christian home. Went to a Christian school. Proceeded to a Christian University (for a year). Then went to a regular community college. Along the way I went through some drama at home were I believed I was unwanted, unloved, ugly, weak, not bold, unaccepted. So I turned to the Internet specifically Myspace (which was popular at the time) and sought after boys. I had a suggestive background. Posted suggestive pictures. And wanted and needed the attention. What better way to get a guys attention then to be sexually suggestive. And the attention came from all directions. I was hooked. I started meeting local guys and really put myself in danger. One time I took my friend to a guys house who I had never met. He was x-military and when we walked in there on the table was a handgun. We sat down on the couch and this guy brought us some drinks (which we think had been drugged) but didn't know at the time. We then noticed that this guy did not like us using our cell phones. He also decided to demonstrate how to hold someone at gun point (my friend) which freaked us both out! Thankfully we managed to get out of there alive but sadly my friend had to file a restraining order on this man. I also met another local guy by myself he took me to a nice restaurant and then drove me to his house saying we would watch a movie. Little did I know he would try to have sex with me. Again praise the Lord he lived with his sister and when I ask to be taken home he agree (otherwise I would of started screaming bloody murder). I then started sexting with 2 guys one local and one in NY. The local one I really thought liked me and wanted to meet me. So, one day I text my best friend from high school and asked if she was still a virgin....she said she wasn't. So here I was 20 years old and felt like I was unwanted and unappealing. So I called the local boy who wanted to meet up who I was already sexting. One weekend when my parents were out of town I took the car and heading down to his house to meet him. He took me to a friend of his party. He got drunk but wouldn't let me drink (and I didn't want to because I hate beer). He took me back to his house and started to try to have sex with me. When I said no ! He continued. He didn't stop until I was bleeding badly. Which when he saw he was disgusted and didn't want anything to do with me. When I left he didn't utter a word. When I got home and checked my MySpace page all his comments were gone and he was no longer my friend. It was in the days that followed, no the months, that I felt alone, dirty, used up, ugly. And it was in those moments where I said to myself "why not I have nothing left to offer now." So I continued to talk to guys inappropriately until the day I met a guy on MySpace that changed everything. He is now my best friend and has been for 2.5 years. He showed me how stupid I was for doing that. He showed me that I had believed the lies others and myself told me. And he had show me how those guys I was talking to were a fantasy and only wanted to use me. Throughout the past 4 years God has been unmasking His love and healing. And y'all I think I am falling in love with Him! Yes I am falling in LOVE with God.

Y'all I know that this is my story. And this book is Sarah's story (the main character). But every time you open the Bible that is your story. Every time you are in the presence of God that is your love story. I came to Him so messed up. So broken. So dirty. So scarred. So weak. So used. So unworthy. And you know what He did? The very first thing He did? He held me. He washed me. He accepted me. He loved me.

Please don't be like me and believe a lie that put me in a bad situation. A situation that could have been a lot worse. And please don't worship idols like I did. Please. My life has been a mess but I wouldn't change it for the world because through my life God has been my stronghold. God has always been waiting for me to see Him. He has been waiting with arms wide open, already forgiven me for my offense, and is ready to love me unconditionally and without limit. I have years of lies, wounds, and scars that God is working to heal right now (hence the blog). God is unmasking His love story for me. He is captivating my heart. And I am overwhelmed with Him. Every facet of HIM. 

God loves you. If He didn't love us He wouldn't of sent Jesus. He loves you. You. You are His Beloved. You are His beautiful bride. And He is patiently waiting for you to abandon your idols, abandon your past, abandon sinful self. And surrender to His Love. Let Him consume you inside and out. Let Him heal you. Let Him unmask you. Let Him Love you! For there is NO GREATER LOVE than His. 

This book Redeeming Love will change your life. Believe me. God will speak to you if you listen. I so wish and hope that you read this book. And that God moves you. And that you visibly see His love for you. For I was a sinner. Used up and spit out. And God scooped me up and Loved me all the same.

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